Are you in the mood for love first thing in the morning? Evan Davis and Harriet Harman were on the Today Programme at 7.45 today. My, what a torrid affair it was too! Forget Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Abelard and Heloise, the love affair between the BBC and the Labour Party is truly enduring. Sometimes lovers require a pretext for their trysts and today the ostensible occasion was the question of whether non-payment of the TV licence fee should be decriminalised. That was only the foreplay. Hands on knees. The bumps-a-daisy soon followed. Harriet explained tenderly that the licence fee “guarantees the BBC’s independence from government.” As an engaged lover, Evan was too kind to ask the obvious question, “Well, then, darling, who or what guarantees the independence of ITV, SKY or any other of the myriad commercial channels which regularly manage to criticise governments while lacking the financial cushion of what amounts to a tax?”

As this rude question went all unasked, it had to go all unanswered. Evan merely moved the cushion, so to speak,

He asked Harriet why Labour was under a cloud following its recent set-back in the polls. When dealing with Harriet (or any of her sisters – and brothers in the Labour Party) Evan is never anything other than gentle. His soft imploring gave Harriet the perfect opportunity to say that Labour was not at all under a cloud and that indeed, given the stirring leadership of Ed Miliband, all was working for the best in the best of all possible parties.

This was the climax of their love scene and it subsequently faded. But never fear, it will be revived again…and again…and again, The passion of our two lefty lovers is insatiable – and of course all their trysts are paid for out of our taxes